I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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