I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My vagina is very pro this idea
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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