i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
