I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
