My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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