her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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