I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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