He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
