alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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