Do you still have your period?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
