You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
wow bdsm is so cute
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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