You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
