Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
