Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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