Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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