the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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