I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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