You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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