I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize