i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize