yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
