Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I supernannyed him into submission
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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