kristin has been a bad kristin
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Drunk is not a location!
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
