end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
