We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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