we made out on top of his cat.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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