Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
