I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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