Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
