The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
