hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
