I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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