It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
