I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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