so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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