No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
