Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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