I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
