well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
