There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
