my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
