Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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