Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize