Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize