I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
