youre lurking in front of me
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
