Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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