brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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