so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
