weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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