just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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