I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
