Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
