Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
