Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
