yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
