Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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