i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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