I am full of burrito and curiosity
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
