I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
