Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
