Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
