I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
