We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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