He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
