Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
