We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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