It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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