ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
