More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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