did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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