"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just saw a hot homeless man
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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