Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
How naked do you want me to be?
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