Princesses don't give blow jobs
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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