Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
