A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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