so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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